Social Gatherings in the United States

Social gatherings are quite informal in the US. Most people do not use parties to show wealth or taste. Parties are opportunities for people to gather, converse, and relax. As a result, the host-guest relationship, which is quite formal in many cultures, is very informal. Your host wants you to "feel at home." You may be greeted at the door with "Make yourself at home." This means you may have to serve yourself.

Invitations are usually informal and often oral, but tell the time and place: "Will you come over Tuesday evening at 8:00?" A statement such as "come and see me sometime" or "drop in" is not an invitation. It means that you must telephone before you drop in. If you accept an invitation, it is important that you go and be punctual. The host expects you to call as soon as possible if you must cancel. It is considered rude to simply not show up. If you are not interested in the invitation, it is better to politely refuse the date or appointment in the beginning. Refusing a date is not considered rude in the United States.

A formal, written invitation, requires a response and often a written response.

• If the invitation says "RSVP," you must call the host and tell him whether or not you will be there. If you cannot attend or do not plan to attend, say so. Do not say "yes" just to be polite. The "RSVP" is to help the host plan how much food and drink to prepare; an accurate count is necessary.
• If your invitation says, "Regrets only," you only need to tell your host if you do not plan to attend. If you are unsure how to dress, call the host and ask, "What should I wear?".
• Student gatherings are much less formal. What time you arrive makes little difference, because people are coming and going all the time. Many student parties are "BYOB" (bring you own beverage). You will make enemies rapidly if you go to parties and drink other people's beverages. If a party is BYOB , then you should BYOB!