Romantic Relationships & Dating in the United States

Romantic relationships are difficult between members of the same cultures; men and women often view romance quite differently. These problems increase in cross-cultural romance, and the source, again, is stereotypes. Men may perceive international women as "prudish", not interested in the opposite sex, nor in having fun. Women may perceive international men as being "wolves", interested only in the physical rewards of a relationship. International women often view men in the US in a similar way: they are interested only in sex. Foreign males may think all women in the US are willing sex partners. Again, it is important to be aware of these stereotypes, and that they are usually wrong.

In the United States, relationships between members of the opposite sex are generally less structured than in other countries. "Platonic" relationships (non- romantic friendships between members of the opposite sex) are very common and virtually everyone has platonic friends of the opposite sex.

Like most rules governing relationships in the United States, those which govern romance are informal and vague. Generally, however, when a couple makes a "date" they will do something: go to a movie, have dinner, go dancing, etc. They will not simply sit and talk. A man or a woman can ask for a date. The person who asks will probably pay for the date.

Asking someone on a date, or accepting a date, does not obligate you to become romantically involved. If, for some reason, you do not wish to date the person a second time, simply do not ask them out again, or if they ask you out a second time, you may refuse politely. Many first dates turn out to be last dates, which is perfectly acceptable in the United States.

When you meet someone who interests you, it is wise to get to know the person before pursuing a romantic relationship. You need to let the person know that you are interested in them, but you should not just blurt out, "Wow, I am interested in you. Would you like to go out with me?" The process of communicating interest without being blunt is called "flirting."

Keep in mind that flirting is a two-way street. The person with whom you are flirting is also getting to know you, figuring out if he/she would like to see you again. If the person becomes inattentive or seems to be avoiding you, generally that means he/she is not interested. Do not pursue the relationship. If, however, the person is attentive and seems in no hurry to end conversations with you, that usually means he/she is interested in you as well. When this happens, ask this person if he/she would like to have dinner, or go to a movie or a play or theater, and set a specific time and place to meet. Traditionally, the male paid for everything on a date. Nowadays, people on dates often pay their own way. If your partner pays for everything, offer to return the favor on a later date.